This post is a sequel to my earlier posts Laundry list: How to make laundry everyone's, not just women's job and #Washbucketchallenge as well as the most recent Shared Load Marriages.
As a generation, I reckon, we are not just 'born free'. We are also 'born lazy' :)
Further, as technology liberated us from quite a few mundane chores, our laziness quotient zoomed!
As a result, in my view, we are not as physically volunteering with any chore as our earlier generations.
All is well until we are single - but the moment we get married & embark on sharing - this laziness quotient can wreck our worlds. And that of our posterity.
Habits die hard & we tend to shun chores - resulting in the other partner, albeit unwittingly, shouldering them. With the unintended consequences.
Awareness is the beginning of all wisdom so now that we recognize this, let's ensure we avoid load shedding (pun intended - in India, load shedding is often referred to as power cuts aka electricity cuts; I reckon shunning household chores cuts the spark out of the marital relationship) and instead share the load!
Sharing is caring:
Nothing makes us righteously human as 'sharing'. Very few other specie are as well endowed as us, to productively share.
Sharing household chores brings with it multiple advantages:
- it exposes us to the hardships faced by our partner thus sowing appreciation for their time and effort.
- it inculcates responsibility.
- it brings about a fresh perspective (when a new / different set of hands tries out the chore, chances are, fresh ideas / ways of doing will emerge).
- often, collective learning curves are faster and more effective.
If fight you have to, I say, fight for equality.
When one partner is saddled with the household chores, day in and day out, its only natural that anger and frustration seep in. All the more if both are peers (as in, they manage similar careers and incomes). This anger and frustration will, in no time, boomerang into conflicts.
Conflict management, as we know, can be highly challenging as well as critical to sustaining associations and relationships.
Therefore, if we have to fight, let's fight to bring in equality into the marriage rather than fighting why its not there! What say?
That modern day alibi, 'stress', can burn out not just careers but relationships and at times, lives, as well.
Sharing the load in marriage can be a natural stress buster - to begin with, it divides the labor. And quite like sorrows, we know what's divided feels less burdening. As a collateral, it keeps both parties equally engaged (yeah, where is the room for laziness quotient to creep in?). It then also promotes the joy of teamwork and collective achievement. It fosters joint problem solving.
The problem with consistently shunning something rudimentary (such as household chores) is - we are forever dependent on others for the execution of those life sustaining tasks.
What if the partner, the paid help suddenly becomes unavailable? Could be a natural calamity, could be a life event .. whatever.
Wouldn't it be lovely if we can all cook, do our laundry, do our electrical and plumbing - at least the basics - at will?
Its the best contingency insurance we can incorporate into our lives. To garner experience of doing all the chores it takes to keep a home, a marriage running.
Convinced? Its time to #ShareTheLoad. At home.